So, despite multiple warnings from multiple friends I decided to watch prometheus I was supposed to be capital no not I that.
Hey Lisa at work I'm trying out the speech fine haha I'm leaving all of this is is gold face recognition rather than face close enough I'll type now.
Hey Lisa at work I'm trying out the speech fine haha I'm leaving all of this is is gold face recognition rather than face close enough I'll type now.
Prometheus.
It's a movie.
Relatively set in the Alien/s/3 universe. Supposed to be a prequel I suppose.
To break a moment, that speech function part made me cry laugh.
Back to the movie.
To start, I did not, not enjoy it. It is by far not the worst movie or SciFi movie I have ever seen. That said, it is probably not the best either. I will be adding links to some videos later. I'll write a preface here. Everything Wrong With kind of raped this movie. As it does with many. But I also watched an explanation video for a lot of questions that made a lot of sense. Did I mention to those who haven't seen this movie there will be spoilers? Well there won't be. I promise. ::wink::.
Linkety link link:
How Prometheus Should Have Ended Just because I watched that too.
So to bring up the idea that the "scientists" and the rich guy are dumb:
Well I think yes and no. The scientists are dumb for thinking it was an invitation they saw. More research and pylons needed. BUT, all the better for a kooky multimillionaire hell bent on finding the fountain of youth thousands of miles from Earth in spaaaaaaaaace.
To the crew being stupid:
OK this one is going to have a lot. First of all let's make a note. This movie is set in the future. Where many things have progressed including medical practices, mapping abilities, and mother fucking space travel! With that said, why would anyone think that Viskars was a robot? Duh, her brother is a robot. That was obvious. Granted Whiskas picked a grand time to get jiggy with it. Speaking of black people, they really did kill off the entire minority in one go. The white people got a system of deaths. The black, asian, and mexicanish guy? They go down with the ship. Sadness.
OK this one is going to have a lot. First of all let's make a note. This movie is set in the future. Where many things have progressed including medical practices, mapping abilities, and mother fucking space travel! With that said, why would anyone think that Viskars was a robot? Duh, her brother is a robot. That was obvious. Granted Whiskas picked a grand time to get jiggy with it. Speaking of black people, they really did kill off the entire minority in one go. The white people got a system of deaths. The black, asian, and mexicanish guy? They go down with the ship. Sadness.
Moving on to her brother, the question of how David understood so much about alien tech. Well, I can imagine from the details revealed from the various fake website articles, that the David series had amazing sensor arrangements and adaptability. Thus, he can understand alien tech. Done.
I do have bones to pick with the "geologist" and "biologist". Ok so again we are in the future, even in 2010 when the movie was being developed a biologist in this future would probably not just blindly accept Darwin evolution. After all, interstellar travel has been developed. I'm sure many advances in the realm of biology have occurred. Also the whole snakepenisvagina scene is just plain asinine. Steve Iriwn jokes have their place. Not in this movie. I'm truly surprised he didn't say, "She's a beaut!" and poke it with a stick. And the geologist. With the most sophisticated mapping software this side of the milky way, gets lost. I mean I guess I could give that you don't know if he gets a feed of the overall map, but that would be stupid, a waste of the technology, and how did our biologist friend know where they were when asked by Janek? So they are both officially dumb.
As is the rest of the crew. I bring to the courts attention the case of Fifield appearing outside of the ship. Ok, we're going to break this shit down. I'm ignoring the zombie thing, we'll get to that in a bit. So let's recap to start, weird shit has already gone down, our man Charlie McSquiggly eye had already been lit up like a Nazi book club by Knickers, and just because you get a signal you're just going to open the door? To finalize this scene's stupidity, my main beef is with the fact that they used the big door. Because it was already proven when Shaw got caught in the sand/static/glass storm, that there was a normal sized access door, relatively close to the hangar hatch. So instead of doing the smart thing and exiting out of that to scope out the situation, they just let the shit hit the fan. I also don't know why it was necessary for Fifield's legs to be over his head. That was just some weird artistic impression shit.
And finally for what I do consider to also be the dumbest entire scene in the movie:
Running in the direction of the rolling ship. This is also going to play into the science category too just wait. So I will give two things and count them: 2.
1. They were both indeed panicked.
2. Neither were military and therefore trained to handle panic.
And with those I have no excuse for Vicks Vap o Rub to die here. But I do have gripes that it reminded me of this scene:
Nuff said.
Now onto to the main argument, Shaw. So while I will still give you those two original things, I will take them away without mercy due to the surgery and after scenes. This will also play into the science section. So after the thrilling escape from the squidbaby, our evident heroin is eventually congratulated by David on her amazing survival skills. I mean think about it. Woman finds out she is pregnant with an alien baby. Knows she needs it out, I'm guessing woman's intuition on that one. When denied, fakes her own unconsciousness and proceeds to take it out using a device that wasn't even intended to do that. And got out of there! So why did it take her so fucking long to figure out to move perpendicular to the fucking ship! And with that, this is done.
Science!Energy!Science!Energy!:
To kind of start from reverse. How incredibly unlikely is it that the donut ship, which why the hell did they do donut ships anyway? the disk ones looked so much better, would land perfectly on the one end, to then roll to the middle, and then fall over? I don't think so. I also don't think, not even for a second, literally a second, that those rocks would have stopped a more than likely heavier than your mom ship from flattening our dear remaining scientist.
I am also going to completely ignore the goo releasing when they entered the room related stuff. That was explained exceptionally well. I will touch on the fact that is was obvious from the movie itself that the goo created different results based on different applications. The opening scene explains how it would enter the body of the "creator" race and changed their genetic information to something else. When the worms entered it, they became a beaut. And subsequently when the worm decides to skullfuck you it just then wants to leave later like the whore it is. When ingested in a human, it makes you go googly eyed and super alien squidbaby fertile. When mixed with plastic and applied to the face ala avocado mask, it makes you a zombie, and your peers idiots. So not surprising when giant squidbaby face rapes blue boy, it makes some strange form of xeno. It was almost too in succession of movies. And I agree the last fight scene really did feel lack luster. It's like they didn't even care because they knew Ripley would have the better fight scene.
Now on to the surgery scene. I can't put a take on why it didn't completely fuck up her womanhood, for I am oddly enough not an expert on either female anatomy, or the machine in which this event took place. Assuredly if I was, I would have an opinion. What I do imagine, is that, yet again, we are talking about really advanced medical practices. Cryo sleep has been perfected for FSM sake! So even though our heroine got a squidbaby removed and was all stapled up, just remember, it was strong enough for a man, but used on a woman. So with the space suit as well, it makes sense she'd be a little better off than running around in a frilly dress when it came to the wound holding. I don't really care about this item much as it really didn't bother me compared to the rest.
Soooooo, to wrap it all up.
It was a well paced movie. There were stupid things in it. Some things made sense and or were explained in the movie. Did I enjoy it? Meh. Did I hate it? Not really. Have I seen a better movie with a very similar theme? Europa Report
All in all not a waste of my time. 2 donut ships out of 5.
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