Death

 I buried a cat today. It was not our cat. It was what we could only assume was a stray that not only canvassed the neighborhood, but on a few occasions had wound up in our pantry eating our cats food. He was a long black cat, apparently hit by a car earlier today. Our neighbor messaged Melissa and I checked on it. There were already flies. The poor thing was so stiff. Death is always a thing. And for most smaller creatures we just return then to the wild to continue the circle of life. But cats are different for me. I've had to bury cats before. It's never easy. This one especially as the spot I chose was nothing but clay. Well and just burying a cat. While we don't know if it had an official home, we know it spent plenty of time here. So may it rest well in our back yard.

A legend is born

 This old dog is turnin tric...wait.

So I went to my usual haunt of The Stop Button Bar. Got there are around 9 to a rather bumpin evening. Pool tournament. People actually playing Stepmaniax. Players I had seen names of, but had yet to meet. A good time was had. We all experimented a bit. More good times were had.

Then they as a group started challenging this version of Max on "wild" which is the equivalent of a 27. Or 45 from DDR. And as I watched them repeatedly attempt, fail to reach the target score, then reset, my legs felt the itch. They were sore already. But nothing could stop what was to come. The score to to beat was 1825 or so. Stepmaniax had a slightly broken system that you can fail a song, but any score before the failure can be left as a record. This record had apparently been there a while. And was the case with everyone trying, they were gunning for it, with somr strong contenders. So after watching about 15 or so attempts and even trying to coach, I asked if I could try.

I had to use the rail.

I felt dirty.

2065 or so.

And they all watched me do it.

The first time.

I have become legend!

I was also complimented on my ability to play without the bar and my crossover skills. 

Twas a good evening indeed.

Ima take a nap.

Mission to Mars (2000)

 Shoutout to brand sponsorship. Thinking of you M&Ms and Dr. Pepper. Killin it.

Also slight rewind to Moonfall, Kaspersky must have seriously donated to that project.

So Mission to Mars.

We start at a party. For astronauts. And family and friends. A very, "We're going on an adventure!" feel.

Also, even when genuinely smiling, doesn't Gary Sinise look strained.

Anyhoo, the adventure begins! The first Mars mission! Wee!

From the beginning, it was stated that a couple was going on each of the missions. Bit weird, but I suppose the distant future of 2020 that the film was set in and the fact that internal combustion engines are things relegated to museums makes that normal?

Also can we hit on the facts that we as a society have a stable way to get to Mars, set up a minor colony, and had a rover that was not caked in Mars dust, but yet had to rely on recorded messages instead of real time. Boy howdy 2020 was a rough year. 

Wait.

Anyway, things are hunky doory for our intrepid astroneers, when they piss off a sentient sandstorm, don't run away from it, then get murdered by taking a rock to the face and being torn limb from limb by centrifugal force. 

But wait! Don Cheadle survives! Because he was buried. But I guess not that deep. Also says later his helmet was cracked, leaking oxygen, and barely made it back to camp. But I feel pretty confident the rover that didn't get completely destroyed by the smart rock tornado had some oxygen. Maybe that's just me.

Now multiple delayed messages and weird readings later,

"We're going on a rescue mission!"

Surprise! The fun times were over when micro meteorites make an appearance by punching through a convient spot and timing to also punch through Jerry O'Connell's hand, BUT, not through the glass looking panel they were working at. Maybe they should have made the outside of the ship with that glass looking thing. 

Maybe then the meteorites wouldn't have also conviently damaged the fuel lines, the systems not notify of the damage, it spray fuel out into space which also very conveniently kinda just hangs around. Physics amirite? And then as the burn for entry is activated, KA-BOOM! This universe is apparently dead set on making all of our characters well, dead.

One, oh we gotta EV jump to a thing but over shoot and then someone ends up in space. Hurtling towards Mars. Don't worry, I won't spoil who. Lots of drama. Definitely took a turn I didn't expect though. They space jack? Yeah space jack the resupply orbiter to control/crash land on the red planet.

Also going back, would a giant fuel explosion that completely destroys the back half of the ship not make it spin gently in a predictable and workable pattern? Asking for a friend.

Don Cheadle mistakes the rescue mission as future ghosts, but decides to make sure by trying to kill Gary Sinise.

After a brief catchup from both sides, it was revealed before, but now again for our eager, though 1 man lighter, rescue crew, that smart rock tornado was protecting THE FACE ON MARS!! Which is now quite obviously a face. A not human one. Hmmhmm.

Patterns and what not later, the face has opened. Three of our astronauts venture in and are treated to state of the art MARS PROPAGANDA. In which Mars is hit by a giant meteor, THEN everybody leaves. Except for one that stays behind to bump uglies with Earth to spark life, then, go back to Mars to, just hangout? See, propaganda.

Cue tearful goodbyes as our now main character decides not surprisingly to stay on the ship. I say not surprisingly because I would totally do that too. And the other bits of the crew make it safely off as well. To then have a very, one might say, close encounter, with the exiting alien ship, to say a final god speed and whatnot, the end.

Jumping back to the ship. Our explorer gets put in a tube that is then filled with an oxygen infused liquid. Much like The Abyss. Methinks there is something to that.

Odd science besides, one hell of a ride.

10 FLASH, AH AHHH's out of a we're going to need a bigger boat.

Sexy, tooktoolongtowritethisandreallyneedstocleanstuffandfinishpacking, away!!!

Though addendum, I glossed over a lot, I do legitimately recommend giving this a watch.

There is no mayfly called love

 So there were 2 episodes this time around as I have missed a week due to none other than Covid. It's cool to be late to the party right?

Well, I am late to the sad sad sad sad sad sad party that is Stampede.

Sorry, distracted by My Hero.

Ok back for right now.

I've realized what Stampede is and it's point.

It is a side story featuring "Wolfwood". "Vash" does not matter. "Meryl" does not matter. Roberto is a Mary Sue in a way.

Also, in the realm of side stories within the realm of Trigun, this side story is a particularly bad one in my opinion.

Let us begin at the last episode I remember and I think I watched, the one with Zazie the Beast. Oops, "Zazie the Beast". We meet "Wolfwood" in this epsiode. There's a giant worm. They may have been a little too inspired by Tremors. It is made obvious at the end of the episode that "Wolfwood" and "Zazie the Beast" are working together /friends?

These last two involved "Monev the Gale" and the sandsteamer and "The Bad Lads Gang".

But wait, in the sandsteamer episode there's a new villain/assassin/child Wolfwood friend. Yes in this episode you get to meet? sort of? child Wolfwood. There's no quotes here since this is a completely new and different Wolfwood. Seriously, what on Earth was that flashback silent movie bullshit. OK I am getting ahead of myself. This one is going to jump around a bit if you didn't notice.

"Monev the Gale". He sure knew how to blow wind. So he has a backstory now, a child named Rollo who was promised by "Vash" to be saved 20 or so years ago and "Vash" failed and now he's a roided out psycho from Borderlands with double machine gun/wind tunnel guns? on both of his arms. And a super failed Halloween mask that looks like Ghost Rider stole Mr. Freeze's helmet. Oh also "Vash" was at Rollo's birth. At least according to a picture that "Meryl" found. For a guy who defies age and tends to just vanish, he leaves an astonishing amount of irrefutable proof of himself in this show. So Rollo attacks, doesn't really endanger anyone, and then right as "Vash" is making a connection and we see the reveal of Rollo's face under the Spirit Halloween mask, "Wolfwood" kills him.

Ok tangent now that while does apply to this new series, will focus primarily on the original.

Knives is truly a tortured soul. Does he want Vash dead? Alive with him for the rest of eternity? Some where in the middle? I mean he sends Wolfwood to watch over him, but then also sends, through Legato, who we will DEFINITELY be talking about later, the rest of the Gung-ho Guns as assassins after Vash. I guess to test Wolfwood? Who apparently has always been a rebel all along. Space western drama gonna drama.

CONTINUING.

Why my theory is holding true is Monev the Gale. The real one. That was such a pivotal episode. It showed Vash being pushed to the very limits of his resolve and even the potential to break those. It's flow was flawless and was the very first confirmed use of Vash's left arm if I remember correctly. Also did Monev need a backstory? Did any of the Gung-ho Guns need back stories? I mean, it would be cool if they did, I would watch the shit out of that, especially Legato and Midvalley. Also Gray. Yeah I would be interested in those stories. They should have written that instead of throwing everyone under a really big, poorly rendered 3D bus.

That's right, the CG finally got to me. Going back now!

It feels cheap and blocky and dumb looking.

On to the next episode!

Sandsteamer looks weird, ok I can forgive that. It's powered by a plant. Hmm, they can fit those buggers anywhere they need to can't they?

"Vash" is attacked by an unknown, particularly menacing new threat in the form of a silver haired, quad-gun wielding cyborg boy.

This boy grew up with child Wolfwood. Once again, there is this, really out of place silent movie backstory to Wolfwood and Livio, the new characters name, growing up in this orphanage.

Turns out Wolfwood was designated a new test subject by the Umbra Hand, and apparently able to be a real boy in 2 easy minutes! Well 2 months. "Monev" went through something similar but then just stewed for 20 years, which is actually kinda on brand. We also know now that "Wolfwood" can use a drug to no only recover any wounds, but enhance his body. Woof. He is still a rebel and gets super scolded by THE MOST SIMPLE, UNDEREXEMPLIFIED "Legato Bluesummers". He literally looks like a reject from Guilty Gear -Strive-. A bad reject at that.

Livio is busy fighting, everybody. Then "Legato" shows up and apparently can use his arm like a psychokinetic force? Like, with people and their bodies sure, but also parts of the sandsteamer. Which set it on a course to run into the orphanage that "Wolfwood" and Livio grew up in. There's some of that Legato drama. Not a lot, but a little. AND LITTLE MEANS NOTHING IN THIS STUPID GOD FORSAKEN SHOW. 

Sorry bout that.

Oh and "The Bad Lads Gang" shows up at the end. No BDN or "BDN" in sight.

Oh did I mention "Wolfwood's" cross now has no handguns, looks like "Vash's" arm, and has a laser instead of a rocket launcher? Wild, I know.

Also just to throw things around, KNIVES USED LEGATO CAUSE HE WAS KINDA HALF A MAN AT THE TIME, INSTEAD OF BEING PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF JUST RUNNING AROUND AND MURDERING EVERYONE INSTEAD OF JUST A ROCK.

This show confuses and astounds me. The astonishment is just by how they decided to take whatever idea they had, and run with it, arms all, flaily.

Now back to My Hero which made me tear up a bit.

Stay sexy!

Love and Peace

 I'm heated for a few reasons.

Now's as good a time as any.

They retconned my boy.

THEY RETCONNED MY BOY!!!!!

I'm gonna talk about Stampede (Trigun) as it does not deserve to be a Trigun series.

Yes I know it has "Vash the Stampede" and "Meryl Strife" and eventually "Nicholas D. Wolfwood" and "Milly Thompson".

But that doesn't change much. 

Let's start with the latest, and so far only good thing I have seen.  In the second episode during a particularly tense moment, my throat caught as "Vash" talked about saving people. You think I will stop doing that.  I will not.

Now that that's out of the way, LET THE MURDER BEGIN!

But first, it hit me while I used the bathroom, this series may just work, if,

The MANGA or the ANIME didn't exist.  That's all.

 

The first episode! I don't remember the title! It doesn't matter!

Are you familiar with the story of Trigun? Alright throw that shit right out the window. Who's Rem? Oh "Vash" is unreasonably obssessed with her, also while were in the bullshit beginning sequence, His name is fucking Knives! Not Nai! But really what's the point of trying to explain the Seeds ship in the first episode since it jumps right into "Knives" being nuts and then boom, reporter "Meryl".

Who has a photo accurate wanted poster of "Vash" who is currently in Geneora Rock for some reason, who gives a fuck what order is.

They, being her mentor reporter dude and her, find him hanging upside down supposed dead, free him, only to notice THE BLATANT LOST TECHNOLOGY ARM HE HAS.  Mystery, storytelling, was tha.

Meanwhile he IMMEDIATELY divulges that "Knives" is his brother and that he's basically running away from him.

Aslo, I just remembered, his bounty is 6 Million Double Dollars. So one may be enticed into thinking this is set in the past.  Don't worry, you would be wrong and episode 2 will prove that. But for now one more important difference towards the end.  Plants are roughly the size of industrial HVAC units and "Knives" is alive and well, running around fucking with them and potentially killing them.  The plants that is.  Also I almost totally forgot, in a weird duel with a military force that wants the bounty and resorts to nefarious tactics, it is shown that "Vash"'s gun is chambered in .22. I really think that is just wrong, but I'll have to research that a bit more. The design of his gun is stupid too.

 

Episode 2! "Hard Puncher"

The Nebraska family.  A staple in the universe of Trigun.  Reduced now to a rather spry old man with an RPG, and a mildly oversized adolescent with lots of bits and bobs going on.  But more impotantly, I guess, they show up in the middle of "Vash" being hunted by the town for the bounty to fix the ailing plant. Or buy a new one, something along those lines.  I feel as though I've seen this before, perhaps, in a different town. Or episode.  "Vash" runs away, "Nebraskas" attempt to steal the working plant, "Vash" comes back, dodges a bunch of punches from "Gofsef" and a rocket from the father? Right, yeah. Then has the lines that actually got me, fires exactly one bullet to stop the bullet fired by the father, then everyone helps save "Gofsef" and then they all have drinks!

 

I know what's wrong.  Oh, wait, there's a lot.  There is little to no sense of danger or threat.  "Vash" while being over empathetic which tracks, has very few lines dialog, is a little too desperate, and is far too calm instead of animated.

"Meryl" is trash other than wanting to save "Vash"

I don't want to see what they do to Wolfwood. 

 

But I think I might.  I'll watch what they make, because at the end of the day, I love Trigun.  I just wish they hadn't attached it to the name.  Or use the likeness of any of the characters.  Or use any elements of the story.  Hmm.  Getting some real "Spirits Within" feels going on.

 

The theme music has grown on me.  Not for the series though.  Also I don't mind the cg as much as I thought I would.  I just hate the series.  Hate is a strong word.  I hate the series, so far.  Much better.

 

It's been a while, 

Stay sexy.

 

 

OH, WAIT!

STARTING THE SECOND FUCKING EPISODE WITH A WAY TOO LONG AND FOCUSED ON WEIRD THINGS RECAP/FLASHBACK BUT NOT FLASHBACK, YEAH FUCK THAT.  

Spotlight (2015)

 A heartfelt and powerful movie. Great performances from everybody. The Catholic church organized 9/11 to bury abuse stories.

Ha! And you thought I had taken my tinfoil hat off! 

This was a review and only a review

Oh yeah I didn't rate it. I give it 2 extra spicy Michael Keaton eyebrows/Michael Keaton's face.

Thank you for your time and stay sexy.

San Andreas (2015)

Ok so to start this isn't going to be a proper review.
It will in fact be really short. Kinda
It was on tv.
TNT to be precise.
This movie is dumb, not just by movie standards, but just disaster movie standards.
I'm going to jump to the last part I watched first, as I stopped watching it.  How do you miss the road going flat to cracked to sheer cliff face in like, 20 feet?
But before that you totally would have killed yourself, your estranged wife, and at least 15 other people in that helicopter crash.  And then steal a truck that was already stolen, to    steal           tvs.  And seriously the local area is falling apart and people dying and shit, and looting goes all nuts?  That may be the most believable part of the movie.
Speaking of believing,
I believe San Andreas is in fact Neon Genesis Evangelion.
That first girl in the car.  Died.  Totally, like, there was absolutely no way she survived that.  She didn't get hit in the face with the air bag, fell out of her seat belt somehow, and shouldn't have had the intact bones to stand in a vertical car on the side of a mountain.
So she died, and the rest is her afterlife.


I give San Andreas a Zankoku na tenshi no you ni Shounen yo, shinwa ni nare /-10